Tuesday 15 June 2021

Magical Mystery Tour


Neil Welton said...

Way back in 2002 Her Majesty The Queen revealed to the world the name of Her favourite group of minstrels. Otherwise known to you and me as the musicians, pop groups or (as I prefer) beat group combos. I think it is safe to say nothing has happened in the world of music over these past twenty years that would have changed Her Majesty's opinion. I think we can all be confident of that. Indeed as you can imagine over the course of The Queen's Reign there has been much competition for the title of Her Majesty's Most Favourite Minstrels. After all who would not jump at the chance to have The Royal Baton pointed at them? Even 1970s punk anarchists The Sex Pistols, with their "ever so edgy" 1977 Silver Jubilee poptastic classic 'God Save The Queen', now support The Monarchy. For they all succumb in the end. Like dust on a twelve inch vinyl when confronted by a 1970s sized stylus. Or like a seven inch single refusing to go back into its record sleeve. In many ways The Sex Pistols have become the morons they once laughed at, whilst also now supporting The Fascist Regime to boot. How comforting. It is therefore win win for The Queen, if not a total surprise The Sex Pistols are not Her Majesty's favourite band. Nor are the rock group Queen oddly enough. Nor is it my own little university outfit in which, I admit, I tried to sing and play the keyboards all at once. Fear not. I am not upset by Her Majesty's little snub. For I know my place in the great pecking order of pop.

Neil Welton said...

It goes without saying, of course, that Her Majesty's Most Favourite Minstrels have actually been to see Buckingham Palace - and not just on the roof. For they too have been greatly honoured by The Queen with a knighthood and even the odd MBE. Needless to say in true rock 'n' roll fashion they thanked Her Majesty in numerous ways. Even telling The Queen that when they were children they had celebrated Her 1953 Coronation with considerable heartfelt happy gusto. Even putting Buckingham Palace in one of their movies and writing a song about Her Majesty which was called Her Majesty. Appropriately enough. Even smoking cannabis in those lavatories at Buckingham Palace when they visited the Grand Old House. Not only that but also smoking some cannabis whilst being given a personal tour of the Palace by a very young and impressionable Prince Charles. (So the fans of these pop legends would have you believe.) Needless to say the Royal lungs were not endangered by this early encounter with cannabis. As for his mind you can make your own mind up about that. Quite like Prince Harry of course. And quite unlike the rest of us who were offered this "wonder" drug in our school daze. Don't worry. I'm not naming any names here. Your secret is safe with me. For now. Well, for the time being.

Neil Welton said...

The Queen's Favourite Pop Minstrels are so popular with Her Majesty the remaining band members are known to take regular Lunch, Dinner and even Tea with The Queen. I kid you not, pop pickers. Hardly surprising. Especially when you consider that Her Majesty's affection for this group goes even deeper than the taxman. Funnily enough, they wrote a song about him too called Taxman. In the light of all this exclusive information, The Queen will no doubt be delighted to learn that a 1965 film of Her Pop Minstrels has recently been digitalized and remastered for the modern age. Meaning they too will Gloriously Reign Forever just like Her Majesty. For as it is written in those ancient and sacred texts. Even those unborn will know thy greatness. Amen to that. So let us sit back, relax and enjoy some 1960s beat combo action. For those of you who are "not in the know" (known as the sad people) this film sees "our boys" having to be protected by The British Army on Salisbury Plain. Right next to old Stonehenge. For they have been threatened with death by a gang of hothead hate filled Asian fanatics. Who would have thought that could happen? This movie sounds too far fetched to me. For nothing like this happens in good Old Blighty, does it? Indeed just think for a moment. When this film was made today's hothead hate filled Asian fanatic was just a glint in his father's eyeballs. Yes. I said eyeballs. So without further ado let's get all our own eyeballs watching this 1965 pretty little ditty called The Night Before from their ground breaking classic film:




Then ask yourself this simple question. What on earth did The Queen and the entire world see in all of this? I have no idea for Princess Anne was a member of The Englebert Humperdinck Fan Club. Though I shall take my cue from a large American tourist who once said to me in complete and utter confidence: "We love you. You wacky Brits. We just love your utter British craziness."



Anonymous said...

Pecking Order Of Pop or POOP for short.

Neil Welton said...

LOL - let's leave Fleetwood Mac out of this.